I just listened to Steve Jobs's speech on the Stanford commencement ceremony linked from here. It struck a chord with me when he talked about the dots connecting.
I used to work full time, leaving D to the care of well-meaning grandparents and nannies. I was so torn on wanting to be with her and having to work full time for financial security. I did this for close to 3 years. It is not that we couldn't have lived comfortably in my husband's income, the fears were far more deeper. Both my husband and I come from a middle class society in India. Financial security and taking the safe route was embedded into our very beings by our parents as well as the society. We chose professions that would provide the best financial stability and chose to excel in it. No time to waste, no time to find our passions. Things like passion are alien words in our society.
Then I had D. My perspective on things started to change. I was working full time during the day, then I used to come home and spend all the remaining free time with D because of the guilt of being away from her. It was just too much for me. I was earning pretty well and was in a career that I did not hate. I started to question what is important to me in life. After too many late night discussions with my husband I took the plunge. Our families thought we were crazy to take such a step! Think about all the extra money we would be losing, we got a lot of flak for it! We decided to ignore their comments and just move ahead. Now I don't regret one bit our decision for me to stay at home. Yeah I miss being away from home and just having that time for myself, all the adult conversation and interaction that I was having at work, but my kids are small and they are not going to remain so forever, this is my time to be with them. When I quit, we were not so sure how things were going to turn out. We need to take chances and do what feels right in our gut sometimes. Looking back at the past 18 months, being at home was so worth it. M was born and that added to the joys of our family. I missed D's babyhood, I get to enjoy M's. I just love this age with D, her curiosity, cheerful play, inquisitiveness just fills my day with so much satisfaction.
The dots connected!
I used to work full time, leaving D to the care of well-meaning grandparents and nannies. I was so torn on wanting to be with her and having to work full time for financial security. I did this for close to 3 years. It is not that we couldn't have lived comfortably in my husband's income, the fears were far more deeper. Both my husband and I come from a middle class society in India. Financial security and taking the safe route was embedded into our very beings by our parents as well as the society. We chose professions that would provide the best financial stability and chose to excel in it. No time to waste, no time to find our passions. Things like passion are alien words in our society.
Then I had D. My perspective on things started to change. I was working full time during the day, then I used to come home and spend all the remaining free time with D because of the guilt of being away from her. It was just too much for me. I was earning pretty well and was in a career that I did not hate. I started to question what is important to me in life. After too many late night discussions with my husband I took the plunge. Our families thought we were crazy to take such a step! Think about all the extra money we would be losing, we got a lot of flak for it! We decided to ignore their comments and just move ahead. Now I don't regret one bit our decision for me to stay at home. Yeah I miss being away from home and just having that time for myself, all the adult conversation and interaction that I was having at work, but my kids are small and they are not going to remain so forever, this is my time to be with them. When I quit, we were not so sure how things were going to turn out. We need to take chances and do what feels right in our gut sometimes. Looking back at the past 18 months, being at home was so worth it. M was born and that added to the joys of our family. I missed D's babyhood, I get to enjoy M's. I just love this age with D, her curiosity, cheerful play, inquisitiveness just fills my day with so much satisfaction.
The dots connected!
I can't agree with you more as a fellow SAHM! :) Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'll be following your blog as well!
ReplyDeleteWow! I came to your blog via Montessori Mondays @onehookwonder. What you said in this post really resonated with me (I am also from a middle class family in India -:). Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by CJ! Almost all middle class families in India take the safe route out, it takes a lot of courage to be the black sheep!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response. I forgot to add, I am also a SAHM - never ever thought I'd be one. Even my husband and I had discussions about staying at home, resisted well-meaning comments from family and like you said looking back, it has been wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI am amazed at how much you have accomplished with your two kids - educating yourself in the Montessori method, implementing the various ideas and bringing your own creative touch to it and all this with a toddler! I have been reading blogs for a while now but I have been slow in implementing. Time to get moving - your blog is an inspiration. Thank you.
Thanks again CJ! With all the wonderful resources out there, it wasn't too much of an effort to start a Montessori education. Feel free to ask any information you need, will be glad to help. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHow old are you kids?
My daughter will turn 5 in another three months and my son is now 7 months old, so a little younger than your two kids.
ReplyDelete