We had a conversation end of last week with D's teacher and principal regarding pulling her out of school and our reasons for it. I just wanted to log my thoughts on this issue before I forget it.
The main reason for pulling her out of school is that this experience is affecting her negatively. Almost everyday we need to push her to get to school. She goes to sleep saying she does not want to go to school and that is the same thing she says everyday as soon as she wakes up. It is not that she is a new student. I started her at school as soon as she turned three. The first few months were a breeze, she wanted to be in school. She was so enthusiastic about it. Her teacher's report about her during the first parent-teacher conference was all awesome. Come the next academic year, the complaints started pouring in. The major complaint is that she is not motivated to choose work. When the teacher directs her to do something she is totally disinterested. The teacher reacts by providing rewards like calling me home to let me know that she has done her work or taking a picture and generally making a big deal out of it, or providing punishments like sitting in her prinicipal's office or having her miss recess or snack time. Neither the rewards nor the punishments have worked. It is at this point that I started working with her at home, courtesy the different homeschooling blogs. I have had my learning curve, but she seems to be making a lot of progress at home with me. If I force her to do something, then forget it, it is never going to happen. I have made home made versions of the movable alphabet, red rods, teen board, ten board and hundred board. Initially she would play with these, but eventually after lot of patience on my part to just let her be, she herself has started and completed most of these. The lesson learned is that instead of interfere when things don't go as planned, to wait and when the time comes, it does happen and completes it self as it should. I've had numerous conversations with her teacher, but she says that D is a strong personality and the reason she takes her time is because of a power issue. and that is what it is turning out to be, a control/power issue between her and her teacher. this stresses her out and in turn stresses me out, because of the constant complaints that i get from her teacher everyday. though i try to not let it affect me, it does and this affects how i deal with different situations with D. There have been a few psychological effects on D too. She constantly throws up and we have ruled out everything medically. this throwing up does not happen on weekends or holidays, but every school day during breakfast and lunch at school, it does. and the most recent thing is her wetting herself. she has been potty trained and has been out of diapers for almost a year day and night. we did rule out a UTI. i think it is related to school but i might be wrong. my mommy gut feels that this school is not right for her.
dont get me wrong, D is not a perfect child, she is just like any other 4 year old. she has her good days and bad. i have no problem correcting her or letting the school correct her on discipline issues. it is just that manner in which they are dealing with her learning and working with the montessori materials, that doesnt sit well with me.
so for now, we have stopped sending her. there was a talk from the school to scale down the number of hours she is at school, but i don't see a point sending her even for a couple of hours when she does not enjoy the experience.
So for now, all of her learning and growing up is going to happen at home. We might try out some other option in future depending on how life works out.
The main reason for pulling her out of school is that this experience is affecting her negatively. Almost everyday we need to push her to get to school. She goes to sleep saying she does not want to go to school and that is the same thing she says everyday as soon as she wakes up. It is not that she is a new student. I started her at school as soon as she turned three. The first few months were a breeze, she wanted to be in school. She was so enthusiastic about it. Her teacher's report about her during the first parent-teacher conference was all awesome. Come the next academic year, the complaints started pouring in. The major complaint is that she is not motivated to choose work. When the teacher directs her to do something she is totally disinterested. The teacher reacts by providing rewards like calling me home to let me know that she has done her work or taking a picture and generally making a big deal out of it, or providing punishments like sitting in her prinicipal's office or having her miss recess or snack time. Neither the rewards nor the punishments have worked. It is at this point that I started working with her at home, courtesy the different homeschooling blogs. I have had my learning curve, but she seems to be making a lot of progress at home with me. If I force her to do something, then forget it, it is never going to happen. I have made home made versions of the movable alphabet, red rods, teen board, ten board and hundred board. Initially she would play with these, but eventually after lot of patience on my part to just let her be, she herself has started and completed most of these. The lesson learned is that instead of interfere when things don't go as planned, to wait and when the time comes, it does happen and completes it self as it should. I've had numerous conversations with her teacher, but she says that D is a strong personality and the reason she takes her time is because of a power issue. and that is what it is turning out to be, a control/power issue between her and her teacher. this stresses her out and in turn stresses me out, because of the constant complaints that i get from her teacher everyday. though i try to not let it affect me, it does and this affects how i deal with different situations with D. There have been a few psychological effects on D too. She constantly throws up and we have ruled out everything medically. this throwing up does not happen on weekends or holidays, but every school day during breakfast and lunch at school, it does. and the most recent thing is her wetting herself. she has been potty trained and has been out of diapers for almost a year day and night. we did rule out a UTI. i think it is related to school but i might be wrong. my mommy gut feels that this school is not right for her.
dont get me wrong, D is not a perfect child, she is just like any other 4 year old. she has her good days and bad. i have no problem correcting her or letting the school correct her on discipline issues. it is just that manner in which they are dealing with her learning and working with the montessori materials, that doesnt sit well with me.
so for now, we have stopped sending her. there was a talk from the school to scale down the number of hours she is at school, but i don't see a point sending her even for a couple of hours when she does not enjoy the experience.
So for now, all of her learning and growing up is going to happen at home. We might try out some other option in future depending on how life works out.
Wow! I commend you on standing up for your daughter's needs. It seems to me that the teacher was not finding effective ways to relate to your daughter. As a Montessori professional I'm surprised at her tying to use reward and punishment! The silver lining is that you get to now spend each day together loving and learning!
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